Unsettled

Portland is a great place to be. However, I’m beginning to realize that maybe I have no idea how to build a new life. I hate feeling so alone. I’m surrounded by people and I don’t know how to meet any of them except through Craigslist—which works out okay sometimes. My greatest wish is to find people who might become true friends: people to count on and confide in. I’m also missing people just to go out and do things with.

The newness of being here is wearing off a little bit. I’ve been happy to explore and to float along without putting much effort into being healthy and living up to the ideals I have for myself. Nothing’s really wrong; I just feel unsettled. Part of it is not having my own apartment—a situation that should be changing very soon. I feel like once I have a strong home base, I’ll feel more comfortable and more willing and able to make progress in other areas of my life. There’s nothing I can’t do right now, but living on my own is something I’ve wanted for a long time and, now that I have a job, it’s my biggest priority.

I saw an apartment today that I think I’m going to take. I’m excited.

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