Thoughts on spring

It felt like spring today. When skies are blue and the air is clear and warm, I feel like I can see for miles. I can see how much ground there is that I haven’t trod upon yet in the world. In short, I start to get restless. It’s a weird kind of double-edged sword, though. Springtime always brings on cheerfulness and optimism and possibilities, but also an anxiety that I won’t be able to take advantage of it all. Like I will be stuck in one place or just run out of time to do the things I want to do. Maybe it’s because I have only one life to spend in this vast world with so many possible experiences to choose from. Every big decision I make will have reverberations that can’t be undone. This is what keeps me paralyzed sometimes, unwilling to make a choice because I just can’t be sure that it’s going to be the right one.

When it’s springtime, I can see for miles ahead and miles behind. This summer will be my sixth in Humboldt. The same festivals and farmers’ markets as in years past. Sometimes I feel confined. However, that’s what highways are for. (Imagination and creativity also come in handy.)

I have a massive headache tonight. Too much staring at my computer screen, maybe.

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